librardy (pun intended)

could you possibly spend all day sitting in the library meddling with computer and lots and lots and lots of peer-reviewed papers feeling under constant pressure and chased around by your supervisors and achieve nothing at the end of the day? welcome to the grads life.

A day in brisbane (written on 19 Feb 2010)

The air is warm and humid, the typical tropical weather after heavy rain.. water particles suspended in the air, making it heavy and sticky.. it feel bizarre to adjust to this weather again, after three consecutive month of hot dry air of Canberra and icy cold rain, when it rains.

Breathing in.

Hmm.. Brisbane.. my first Australian city..

It doesnt feel the same anymore, the people seems less friendly than how it used to be..I noticed the smokers, they're eveywhere. In every street corner, nearly in every bench and coffee table.. there's someone blowing their smoke..

For some bizarre reason, walking doesnt feel great either.. as I feel this sudden urge of sadness as if I am surrounded by lugubrious mood and I am absorbing the ambience into my chest..Maybe its just me, maybe its just this little chaos I am in, maybe I was reluctant to leave Canberra as I start to find my niche in that concrete jungle..

Why am I not too excited about Tasmania? I've been waiting for this to happen all this while, yet when it finally arrives on my doorstep, I am panic more than anything. I feel I wasnt prepared enough, I feel there's too many outside influence that could screw things up. I hope I am wrong.

Too many accident happen today, the day started off with a minor bicycle accident. As I ride along the street and approaching a traffic light, a woman inside a car suddenly opening her car door without checking her mirror first. I slammed into the car door, but wasnt injured. that woman was too shock to apologize, I just shook my head when I ride away. The next thing that happen is being shouted "idiots" by a bus driver and missed a stairs on my way out of a camera shop, resulting in minor ankle twist. It hurts. I am worried, will it recover sufficiently before the walk??

Shopping for things that I need is not that easy either, I've run around like stupid for more than five hours now, trying to find the raincoat for my camera. Feel like being passed around like a ping-pong ball from one shop to another. The camera shop either have no-bloody-idea of what i I am talking about or told me to look at the outdoor shops. The outdoor shop insist that the camera shop should know better, or simply said we dont have such things. Until there's a slight, dim light at the end of the tunnel. Finally someone who doesnt think I am some sort of an idiot. A guy in outdoor shop is an avid landscape photographer and he understand my confusion. He direct me to a camera shop in Newfarm, and he was certain they got one. aha!

However, as my knowledge about brisbane street start to deteriorate after all this month in Canberra, its only predictable that I got lost trying to find this place. Having a less than accurate GPS on my mobile phone is not making things easier either. When I finally get there after an hour of meandering around the area (supposedly its 10 minutes away from the last shop), I was exhausted to find out that they just sold the last piece yesterday and the new stock will only come in three weeks time. ah, bugger. I am leaving tomorrow!!

My last hope lie on the shop at Mt. Gravatt, and the shop will close at 5.. it 4.13 now, I am so gonna miss my chance. panic panic panic. I run around to figure out which bus going to Mt. Gravatt and how can I get there ASAP.

persistence pays though, I did find the thing at that shop, but after paying at the cashier, I looked at my watch, its 5.30, why are they still wide open? and I look at the clock on the wall.. ah, bugger. I havent adjust my watch back to brisbane time!!

Mardi Gras Parade 2010

the crowd

the sexy bondi lifesaver, even better than baywatch

animals from taronga zoo. I want to visit that zoo if they present their "animals" this way. :D

one of the sun god

its good to be home (late post)

I was so sick when i get off the plane, i got to drag my feet towards the exit. such a long flight. home, finally. I walk outside and breathe in the polluted air, it stink. somehow i dont mind it so much.

The traffic was mad, like always but i dont have the energy to pay attention, i am too sick. dad is driving and he keep checking my temperature, worried. I instantly feel loved. ah, its good to be home.

Spent five days of my short holiday horizontal. trying to recover from the madness of assignment before i come home. typhoid, dengue fever, and whatever else. a doctor said i got this sick because i was depressed and unstable. of course i dont believe him. visit from good friends helps though, i was released the next day.

I was away for less than a year and already i am amazed with the Indonesian driving skills. seating in passenger seat almost feel like a torture and i nearly believe i have lose my ability to drive through this madness, but it all come back after few hours behind the wheel. the traffic jam was really bad but i dont mind it so much, Jakarta suddenly look pretty, with the air pollution hanging low above the skyscraper and the motorcyclist zig-zagging their way around the traffic. I watch people driving expensive cars throwing rubbish to the street, wealth is not equal to awareness, apparently. watch with awe all those stuff transported with the motorbikes; boxes of things, breads, fruits, chickens. chickens!

Before this, every time someone asked me which part of Indonesia i am from, i always answer: the worst bit. they'll quickly guess; Jakarta?. maybe now i wont say that anymore, Jakarta is not THAT bad. especially with the company of good friends.

Reluctantly, i am back in Brissy. Still not all too excited about summer in Canberra but so looking forward to start working. Cant wait for December 2010, extensive travel across east Indonesia. friends, see you soon.

things that got me cry in agony

I hear about this news on sunday, after attending the messian concert with moonlight.. they announced it on the radio, i was puzzled at first. islam? woman? what is this about?

moonlight told me, they just killed him.

i was like, what? who? got killed? why??

"for committing adultery. they found out that his fiancee is pregnant, before marriage. so they just stoned him to death." *tears start seeping from my eyes*

"what happened to the girl? is she ok?"

"they'll wait until she give birth then they gonna stoned her too" *i am burst in anger after hearing this, unbelievable*

that news, got me sat on the corner of my bed, crying. asking myself why there's so much cruelty in this world? why religion bring so much destruction? why there is verses in the holy book that justify this? WHY?

and all those people who claim that my heart is darkened by the western ideas and being atheist is wrong.. i would like to offer to them the same news and see how they feel about it.. most likely, i suspect.. they'll say: its not islam, its the followers, cruelty happen, accept it.

i lost words, i lost words to describe how i feel..

me vs my ancestor religion: islam

At this hour of assignment, i am procrastinating. reading national geographic article about islam in Indonesia. reading about the about-to-be-implemented stoning law in Aceh. it freak me out, really. my relationship with this religion is a complicated one. i was born into a moslem family. one that both devoted but liberal. one that teach the children to respect woman, one that emphasize the teaching "surga itu berada di telapak kaki ibu" (literally translated into) -heaven is at your mother's feet- (therefore you got to really respect her, 3 times more than your father). my parents put me into a religious school. got me to recite Qur'an after every night prayer (until i was 15, when i move out of the house). i was a devout moslem. i was a believer. i used to search for "answers" in prayers. until i figured out it was not the path for me. i make my choices in life, and when i was 19 i choose to turn around and walk towards different direction. by the time i am 21 i came out of the closet. i declare my atheism to the world, even to my parents. i expect them to disown me for that. but they didnt and our relationship has get so much better since then. (although they still disapprove) It was as if i declare i am gay. i receive many judgements and criticism. too many of them said i have been "westernized", some even convinced that i have convert into christianity. i used to spend hours trying to explain and dignified my choice, explaining its not other religion i fall into. its the freedom of not putting my believe into something that require obedience without questioning. a satisfaction without understanding. I hate to see how islam was being interpreted and implemented in Aceh. i got caught for not wearing headscarf some years back and that moment was aired in the morning news the next day. it was embarrassing, but it doesnt stop me from coming back (and still not wearing headscarf - whenever i can). hearing about how the Syariah law evolving in Aceh really freak me out. will they really going to implement all those ridiculous law? stoning for adultery, cutting hand for stealing, and the whipping, the whipping! maybe it's too late to try to make a difference. what would happen to Aceh in the next 10, 20 years? could it be the time when the extremist islam taking over and there will be no space for people like me? people who embrace the freedom of not believing in god and religion. people who embrace atheism. and for my moslem friend, your god must have told you in his book on how to react to this piece of though. "To you be your way, and to me mine (109:6)"

my family and my geographic ignorance

I was talking to my mom on the phone about her plan to come to sydney and canberra and to visit me in brisbane. it goes like this:

Mom: Okay then! so what we do is you come to canberra from brisbane and meet me and your dad in canberra and then we will go to sydney together!

Me: Mom, if we meet up in Canberra and then go to Sydney from Canberra it will be like, meeting in Bandung and then from there going to Jakarta while we both gonna land in Jakarta in the first place!

another case:

Mom: What about.. you come down to sydney and then we'll go to brisbane while your dad have meting in canberra? i wanna have a look around your university. there's not much traffic jam in australia, right? not like in Jakarta?

Me: Mom.. Brisbane - Sydney is like.. Jakarta - Bali, yeah we can do a one day tour but its not really a good idea, i think.

Mom: Ah! i thought its like Jakarta - Bogor, an hour drive away!

and a facebook chat with my brother

My brother: What are you doing?

Me: Listening to Umalali

My brother: Who's that?

Me: A singer. from Garifuna ethnic group

My brother: oooooo..

Me: You know?

My brother: No

Me: Garifuna is the ethnic group, they live in Central America. You know where is the Caribbean?

My brother: pirates of the caribbean? Yes i know

Me: where?

My brother: Vietnam?

Me: HAHAHAHAHA.

and an MSN conversation with a friend

My Friend: Heard you're going to continue your study in Australia?

Me: yep

My friend: Where? in Sydney? Melbourne?

Me: nope, Brisbane.

My Friend: Why Brisbane?

Me: Well... its in Queensland, where the Great Barrier Reef are.. sooo.. i suppose i can go there more often than if i am in Sydney, no? suppose to be the closest city to the GBR and its a good University.

* which apparently was a wrong assumption. when i finally google earth UQ and Brisbane, i was almost shock to find out that it was not on the coast! should probably go to Wollongong instead? or Waikato altogether *

another conversation with my sister, have nothing to do with geography

My sister: Does shark make any sound?

Me: I dunno. but i know whale and dolphin does

My sister: what about (she mentioned another animals, i cant remember which one but i do remember that i dont know the answer, until after several question she asked which i still cant answer, she asked..) turtle? does they make any sound?

Me: (start to get pissed off at my own stupidity) I dunno, did they have ears?