well that was the initial plan, but apparently this become a scattered space of my inconsistent ramble and incoherent mumble. I write my heart out, I throw my anger and frustation, I jotted my hopes and dreams, I record my random thoughts here

October 19, 2011


Remember me when i am gone away

Gone away to a memory land

When you can no more hold me by the hand

Nor I half turn to get yet turning stay

Remember me when no more day by day

You tell me of our future that you planned

Only remember me, please try to understand

It will be late then to counsel then or pray

Yet if you should forget me for a while

And after the words remember do not grieve

For if the darkness and so my love leave

A vestige of the thought that i once had

Better by far you forget me and smile

Than that you should REMEMBER and be sad

re-entry taken from circa high school
it was on the wall of the english class

October 12, 2011

I dont like feeling jealous. Almost as much as I dont like feeling trapped. I avoid feeling jealous as much as I can, sometimes avoiding relationship altogether.

I find myself feeling jealous today.

I dont like this. really.

I dont like not-knowing whats going on. I dont like guessing whats happening. I dont like this tingle in my chest. When I feel jealous I physically felt it. Its painful. Its heavy. Its something I cant conquer.

Sigh. I dont even know how to explain my feeling and my thoughts. I am not too happy about this.