well that was the initial plan, but apparently this become a scattered space of my inconsistent ramble and incoherent mumble. I write my heart out, I throw my anger and frustation, I jotted my hopes and dreams, I record my random thoughts here

April 28, 2010

What I need right now..

Is a good wash of the ocean.

naked on the beach on the broad day light.

wearing nothing but hairs and tattoos..

[insert appropriate picture here]

...haha, if only I have the body (and the guts) to do that..

April 20, 2010

cant seems to think of one

I was reading for my thesis, and i stumble upon this sentence:

"Indonesia is two thing, a unified country and a plurality of distinct people government by their own customs"

COLCHESTER, M., APTE, T., LAFORGE, M., MANDONDO, A. & PATHAK, N. 2003. Bridging the gap: communities, forests and international networks. CIFOR occasional paper, 41.

April 15, 2010

an acehnese girl in brisbane

I come from a country where more than half of the population live with less than $2 a day. I come from a country where the government felt no obligation to provide proper health care and proper education system. I come from a country where 88% of the population is moslem and the constitution based on religion, or at least "believing in ONE god" (lets open the argument about this one on different post). I come from a country where the system is corrupt, the majority of the population is hypocrite, crime is common, environment is fucked, and life is harsh. In general.

but it wasnt all bad.

I come from a country where the sun is shining all year long. the country where the tropical sea is near, the forest is green and lush, the biodiversity is rich, the resources is plenty, the soil is fertile the landscape is scenic, and the people are genuine..

and i miss home.

April 14, 2010

impulsive dream

I mean, literally dreaming. seeing (and doing) things while you're asleep.

I had a weird dream last night (well dreams are weird, arent they??)

I dont know what was the initial occasion but I see myself walking into a travel agent and thinking to got myself a one way ticket to Europe or US. At the point I walked into that shop, I havent decided where I wanted to go, I just want to give myself a surprise, and I can afford it anyway. So, any direction will do, whatever, I am being impulsive.

Turn out I bought a ticket to LA, for $600. It seems to make sense, but in my head.. as I walk out of the shop.. I was wondering why do I do this? Isnt there's a better way to spend my money?? As I wonder my way home to pack.. I woke up!!

damn it.

April 10, 2010


I love being a girl. I can feel what you're feeling as you're feeling it inside the feeling before.
I am an emotional creature. Things do not come to me as intellectual theories or hard-shaped ideas.
They pulse through my organs and legs and burn up my ears.
I know when your girlfriend's really pissed off even though she appears to give you what you want.
I know when a storm is coming. I can feel the invisible stirrings in the air.
I can tell you he won't call back. It's a vibe I share.

I am an emotional creature. I love that I do not take things lightly.
Everything is intense to me. The way I walk in the street. The way my mother wakes me up.
The way I hear bad news. The way it's unbearable when I lose.

I am an emotional creature. I am connected to everything and everyone.
I was born like that. Don't you dare say all negative that it's a teenage thing or it's only only because I'm a girl. These feelings make me better. They make me ready. They make me present.

They make me strong.

I am an emotional creature. There is a particular way of knowing.
It's like the older women somehow forgot. I rejoice that it's still in my body.

I know when the coconut's about to fall. I know that we've pushed the earth too far.
I know my father isn't coming back. That no one's prepared for the fire.
I know that lipstick means more than show. I know that boys feel super-insecure
and so-called terrorists are made, not born.

I know that one kiss can take away all my decision-making ability
and sometimes, you know, it should.

This is not extreme. It's a girl thing. What we would all be if the big door inside us flew open.
Don't tell me not to cry. To calm it down. Not to be so extreme. To be reasonable.
I am an emotional creature. It's how the earth got made. How the wind continues to pollinate.

You don't tell the Atlantic ocean
to behave.

I am an emotional creature. Why would you want to shut me down or turn me off?
I am your remaining memory. I am connecting you to your source. Nothing's been diluted.
Nothing's leaked out. I can take you back.

I love that I can feel the inside of the feelings in you, even if it stops my life even if it hurts too much
or takes me off track even if it breaks my heart. It makes me responsible.
I am an emotional I am an emotional, devotional, unconditional, creature.
And I love, hear me, love love love, being a girl.

Eve Ensler, a playwright and activist, is the founder of V-Day, a global movement to end violence against women and girls. In conjunction with I AM AN EMOTIONAL CREATURE, V-Day has developed a targeted pilot program, V-Girls, to engage young women in our "empowerment philanthropy" model, providing them with a platform to amplify their voices.

--> for all the girls in the world, and the girls inside all of us

This poems is taken from from this TED India 2009 : Embrace your inner girl

April 5, 2010

A friend send me a link few month ago, its an interactive map that show the possible impact if the global mean temperature rise by 4 degrees celsius.

Its a very informative and interesting map, and if you're curious about your future, you might be interested to have a look on this map rather than peeking on the astrology section on the latest magazine.


i did it!!


fish and veggies (kitchen experiment)

and it actually taste good!!