I dont like feeling jealous. Almost as much as I dont like feeling trapped. I avoid feeling jealous as much as I can, sometimes avoiding relationship altogether.

I find myself feeling jealous today.

I dont like this. really.

I dont like not-knowing whats going on. I dont like guessing whats happening. I dont like this tingle in my chest. When I feel jealous I physically felt it. Its painful. Its heavy. Its something I cant conquer.

Sigh. I dont even know how to explain my feeling and my thoughts. I am not too happy about this.